America is a no-good boyfriend to the world: sexy, dangerous, and narcissistic. America’s enemies are the world’s less attractive friends. And the U.N. is, I guess, yo’ momma. This helps explain why the world is in the state it’s in. We all know America is crazy; a nation of gun-nuts with blood on its hands. But that loose cannon persona is hot. There’s no denying it. Sensible countries, like Canada, don’t set the heart racing. You could marry Canada, but America will always be the country that turns heads. The new movie, This Means War, only makes sense because it’s American. Romance and violence don’t mix so well in other nations. In America, they’re inseparable. This is why loving America is so likely to get you hurt.